I know you care so much....

Here's something for this poor abandoned blog.

Jedi Padawan You scored 50 on the Force Sensitivity/Jedi Chart!

Other Jedi like you are: Obi-Wan Kenobi (Episode I), Luke Skywalker (Episode IV) and Anakin Skywalker (Episode II). You are a Jedi Padawan, your fundamentals of good and justice influence you. You may still have some tendencies the dark side may claim like fear and love. For the most part though, the Light Side flows through you. You have not fully discovered your powers through the Force but you are most definitely powerful, though you don't use your power to harm unless threatened. You have probably helped a fair number of people and have a core understanding of what is right, wrong and just. You probably command respect from others simply from your status and the way you serve a greater purpose. Be wary of your feelings as thoughts of yourself only lead to fear and hate and the dark side. Concentrate on controlling yourself and let the Force flow through you, only do what is just and promotes peace and in time you will become a greater Jedi. Be wary of your feelings for they may still be strong especially if you were discovered later in your life. Be careful of the Sith for they will seek to either destroy you or seduce you. ____________ Thank you for taking my test, if you have any comments, complaints or anything you'd like to see changed/added, please contact me through here or my email (zabomb56@hotmail.com).

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 0% on Force Sense

Link: The Jedi Test written by zabomb on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

The Invisible Ghost

Bela Lugosi was a "right old slag" when it came to acting. To paraphrase, Bela's son once said that his father wasn't particular about the quality of a script, he just loved to act. Both of these qualities are evident in the 1941 film, "Invisible Ghost." The script was more full of holes than a Swiss cheese and had other similar qualities. However, this movie was delightful to watch. The performers appeared to be enjoying themselves, and I would venture to say that, other than the rage that Bela's character, Charles Kessler, gave an insight into the actor's real-life demeanor--aside, of course, from the homicidal rage that he was overcome with when seeing his unfaithful wife, who was neither invisible nor a ghost, peering in the window.

Sadly, Bela Lugosi's acting talents were rarely showcased properly throughout his film career. He starred in a number of movies that would have been completely forgettable but for his presence.

Personally, I'd enjoy the most notably awful film starring Bela Lugosi far more than some of today's supposedly noteworthy offerings. There are reasons why I don't spend what little money I have on going to the movies, the main one being that they try too hard to be "cutting edge," "over the top," more violent, more filled with annoying pseudo-sex, etc., etc., ad nauseum. Aside from lacking a strong script and actors who are more passionate about their craft than their image, most modern films lack one key factor that would provoke me into spending my last paltry cash to see them.

FUN!

Bela Lugosi made even the worst scripts enjoyable.

He was a truly gifted actor.

American Overload

American Overload
Read about classic film actress Hedy Lamarr here.

VH-1 Flavor of Love

VH-1 Flavor of Love
Yeah boyeeeee! There is actually a blog for the cheesiness that is the Flavor of Love! So give it a look if you dig TV so cheesy you can smell it!

I bet you didn't know I was so glamorous!

What Classic Pin-Up Are You?

You're Lili St. Cyr!
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Celeb Gossip

Ladies, take note of three creeps not to bother with!

Celebrity Matrimony: A Match Made in Hell
By Shawn McKee
Glee Contributor
Updated: Saturday, May 13, 2006
Hollywood heartthrobs marry amazing actresses; awe-inspiring athletes wed supermodels -- and rock stars, well, rock stars never have a problem with the ladies. These high-profile tandems garner much media attention and play out like modern-day fairytales: whisked away to exotic locations for huge, elaborate weddings, honeymooning in places most people only dream of and $4 million, 8-carat, purple diamond rings just to say, “I’m sorry.”
However, more often than not, these luxurious love stories end more like Hollywood horrors. Celebrities can use their bundles of cash to make life sweet, and for some, that means buying porn, hookers, drugs and trips to Las Vegas (where one can buy more porn, hookers and drugs). Celebrity wives appreciate oversized diamonds (who wouldn’t?), but frown upon hookers, drugs and gambling — how surprising! If celebrities are any indicator of the state of American matrimony, then we could be in trouble. Take a look at three of the worst Hollywood husbands.

Sheenanigans
Charlie Sheen has always been a bit of a rebel. A little gambling here, some prostitutes there, a variety of drugs sprinkled over the whole thing and voila -- a dangerous, sexy movie star. But marrying material? Actress Denise Richards thought so, and -- regardless of his previous marriage that lasted only about six months -- said “I do” in 2002.
Cut to three years later: Richards is unleashing one of the most damning documents in the history of Hollywood hubbub. In a sworn court declaration, Richards claims Sheen was abusive, addicted to pills, had a gambling problem, visited prostitutes, suggested she abort their first child, visited pornographic Web sites including ones that featured seemingly underage women and men, and posted a picture of his erect penis on a sex-search Web site.
How did Sheen respond to the accusations? According to the court document, Richards alleges he said she was “f---ing with the wrong guy” and that he hoped she would get “breast cancer and die.” Nice guy. Needless to say, a gambling, drug-addicted sex fiend may make fine films (see: Men at Work), but his marriage won’t have a Hollywood ending.

Punch-Drunk Love
Mike Tyson was the bad boy of boxing -- becoming the youngest man in history to win the heavyweight championship. The rage and aggression that fueled his fury in the ring also destroyed his life outside of it. After an unprecedented rise to the top came the tragic fall to the bottom. Tyson married Robin Givens at the height of his popularity -- a modern-day beauty and the beast.
The fairytale lasted less than a year with Givens filing for divorce and accusing Tyson of domestic abuse. He followed his marriage misstep with an extended stay in prison for the rape of a beauty queen. Not quite finished ruining everything he worked so hard for, he squandered away a reported $300 million and found himself bankrupt. He remarried a doctor but ended up being sued for infidelity during the -- surprise, surprise --divorce.
What was the good doctor thinking? Who knows? It would seem that someone with a history of domestic violence, rape and spewing comments like, “I want to eat his children,” wouldn’t be the first choice for husband of the year. Tyson sums it up perfectly, saying of his most recent wife, “It's a shame she ever married me. I'm probably the worst husband in the world to be married to.” There are probably a couple of ladies who would wholeheartedly agree.

Smooth Criminal
Michael Jackson was once known as the “King of Pop;” now he’s more known as the “King of Perv.” When he married the princess of rock, Lisa Marie Presley, many thought this would be a marriage of music majesty. The rest of us thought the marriage was a PR stunt to help make Jackson look “more normal” after allegations of sexual molestation involving a 13-year old boy. Nothing seemed right in Never-Neverland, and two years later, the fairytale was over.
He remarried a nurse named Debbie Rowe. They divorced three years later, and she revealed in court that the two, “never shared a home; we never shared an apartment." She spawned two of Jackson’s offspring but reportedly was only allowed to see them every 45 days and exposed at the trial she hadn’t seen her children in two years. Rowe received a $1-million home in Beverly Hills after the divorce with the stipulation that she sign a confidentiality agreement precluding her from speaking with anyone in the media -- or in public -- about the marriage, the children or Michael.
Mr. Jackson is a strange bird and a very private man, but it’s obvious -- to everyone but him -- how ridiculously staged these marriages seemed. Once a man names his child "Blanket" and dangles him over a balcony, it’s time for a custody hearing; and when a man is accused of molesting a child, it’s time to stop letting your kids stay the night there. He should have heeded the advice in Billie Jean, “be careful what you do, don’t go around breaking young girls’ hearts.” Just stay away from young people altogether, thanks.

Thank you, Shawn, for that information!

In other news, we all know that nobody in their right mind would marry anyone from Death Cheese. But has Death Cheese gone soft? Are they involved with a humanitarian act? Say it ain't so! For this latest scandal, click here!

Your Roving Gossip Hound,
The Cheesemeister

Guilty As Charged

I have, for the most part, never been one to get caught up in watching soap operas. But I did watch Dallas in its first run--up to the point when Bobby came back from the dead and it turned out that the last 3 years had been a dream. That was beyond riduculous and I have ever after referred to that particular folly as "doing a Dallas." This could be pulled off in a sci-fi or supernatural story, but Dallas was supposed to be subject to the laws of the world as we know it, People. They really lost me there.
I also watched Knots Landing. There were a few good mysteries going on, and that's what hooked me, rather than the romantic drama.
Now they are rerunning a rather odd soap opera in the Dark Shadows vein on the sci-fi channel. Passions is the most melodramatic, campy drama that I've seen in years, which is precisely why I like it. Case in point:
A woman and her daughter are trapped in a fire. A terrible, horrible fire that in real life should have charred them both to cinders. But all the fire trucks have been diverted to a warehouse fire or some such and it will take them at least 20 minutes to get there. Yet when Miguel finally can stand no more and breaks through a window to save Charity, who has been trapped under a burning ceiling support beam, the only thing wrong with her is smoke inhalation and some black smudges on her face. However, she is comatose from smoke inhalation. And the wicked witch Tabitha is on the way to the hospital to off her. Tabitha is not a soap-opera bitch-witch, she is an actual spell-casting black magic witch.
The premises are ridiculous. The lines are awful. The plot is so full of holes that you might mistake it for a Swiss cheese.
Now you see why I get such a kick out of this show?
If you get the sci-fi channel, give it a try. You might enjoy it too!

Happy Birthday to One of the Greats

Happy 69th birthday to a king among Toons, the one and only Daffy Duck!
Daffy is just 6 weeks shy of being 1 year younger than my dad.











Daffy's been bringing joy to generations of children--and childish adults. He's such a versatile actor, covering all genres from mystery











to horror











to sci-fi










to comedy.












Plus he's one spry quacker. Check him out on the soccer field.

Perhaps the most admirable thing about Daffy is that like Frank Sinatra, he did it his way. He's snarky as anything and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. I'd like to be more like Daffy myself!










Sometimes this world is a pretty crappy place. But the knowledge that Daffy and his friends will bring joy for generations puts a smile on my face. Thanks, Daffy, for bringing the fun!

The Childish Cheesemeister

Ace Ventura, When Nature Calls

Now this is my kind of film! It has everything:
Stupidity, insanity, foolery, and plenty of all things asinine.
Plus it has Jim Carrey's rubber face and manic antics.
Only Beavis and Butthead can provide this much joy when one is feeling on the down-low!
Forget the uppercrust films of redeeming social value.
There's nothing like a good old fashioned low rent comedy to elevate the spirits!
So relax and enjoy a good laugh!
Alrighty then!
The Cheesemeister

The Flavor of EWWWWW!!!!!

On the most recent episode of the train wreck that is The Flavor Of Love, Pumkin was eliminated from the competition. Sadly, when she left, her behavior screamed WHITE TRASH as she emphasized her dislike for New York by spitting on her!
Folks, spitting is just plain gross! That is retaliation reserved for rapists and murderers in my opinion. There are plenty of other ways to let your dislike for a person be known that don't involve spitting.
I work in health care and encounter all sorts of bodily fluids and emissions. The one that gets me gagging the most is, surprisingly, not poop. It's spit. It plain makes me ill when someone is hacking up a bunch of nasty phlegm. I sure hope you weren't eating when you were reading this!
In my world of Cheesy Unreality, there are no winners in the Cheese of Desire contest. All that showed up were ghosts, werewolves, and a bunch of Death Metal types. So while I was able to find all the members I needed to complete my horribly bad band, Death Cheese, I still have zero romantic prospects!
Ah well. I have much hate in my heart for the Colorado state government right now, so I will pen some angry and diabolical songs about them and let Death Cheese work their musical black magic while I stick pins in a voodoo doll. Yes, it's a tax thing. I'm sure most of you will understand!
Sad days are these when werewolves and people who look like rejects from the WWF have more social decorum than a normal-looking woman wearing an evening gown!
Pumkin, ya oughta be ashamed of yourself! Yech!
And while Flavor Flav probably ought to be ashamed of himself, and I would normally be outraged and disgusted at a man who seems to see women as nothing but sex objects, I don't see him as having ill intent. He's just dysfunctional as hell. And willing to let everyone see it.
And I'm watching this. Argh! I'm the one who oughta be ashamed! Somebody slap me with a brick of limburger!
But don't spit on me. Or believe me, you will leave with many fewer body parts than you arrived with! And to add insult to injury, I will have the members of Death Cheese bury you in Lutefisk!

The Cheesemeister
Spitless on Saturn

The Flavor of Love

I made my first post regarding this surreality show starring the one and only Flavor Flav on the Sphere of Music Blog. But since what Flav is doing on this show isn't even close to harmonious or melodic, I'm putting my Updated Commentary in the Celluloid Realm.
In basic, I loathe reality shows. Survivor is Stupid. American Idol is Puerile. Fear Factor is just plain Vile. The Bachelor and its clones are Lame.
The reality shows that I'm drawn to like a magnet, in spite of myself?
The ones that are a real train wreck!
The Surreal Life and most spinoffs thereof.
Yes, I actually watched My Fair Brady a couple of times but got sick of Chris and Adrienne whining. I don't know if they're still together. I really don't give a rat's ass.
Flavor Flav, one of my favorite people in the world, is a self-contained train wreck.
Put him together with Brigitte Nielson and you had a train wreck of epic proportions!
Now those two really should be together.
They're both drama divas.
They both have the same twisted view on "love."
In my view, love does NOT mean that you can keep seeing other people. But one of Flav's stipulations is that he needs a woman who can tolerate him being around other women. Which pretty much puts clingy "New York" out of the picture. And while New York comes off as a world-class bitch, I sympathize with her feelings that she would be very attached to him and would be jealous of him being with other women. Hell, anything else is unnatural!
I would have to say, Flav, my man, go ahead and be with other women all you want. But if that's what you want, then you ain't gettin' none of this!
Gawd...
My son says that Flav is a "Gomer" for doing this reality show. I assume this is insulting. But I'm an olde phart, so you never know! I am, however, pretty sure that it's not either of these things described in the online dictionary:
n. A Hebrew measure. See Homer.
n. A conical chamber at the breech of the bore in heavy ordnance, especially in mortars; named after the inventor.
Believe it or not, Chuck D actually thinks the show is pretty funny and isn't hiding his head in a bag as might be expected with his partner acting like such a dang fool. Check out Chuck's Terrordome column. Ya know, I think that every now and then Chuck succumbs to the guilty pleasure of watching Trash TV, especially when it involves Flav.
To be honest, I can't say I'm dissapointed seeing Flav do a show like this. If it were Chuck or Griff, my head would explode before I could ever get dismayed.
One thing for sure--Flav always reminds me that you've gotta have a sense of humor or this damn world will kill you for sure!
I am now looking for men to star on my new unreality show, The Cheese of Desire.
I will start with 25 dudes.
After the first show, 20 dudes will get a round, wedge or brick of cheese. The five that don't get the cheese don't make the cut.
The next show, I will leave five more guys cheeseless.
And so on.
At the end, the guy who is truly the cheesiest wins--or loses--depending upon your perspective!
I will also be starting a show to audition for my band, Death Cheese.
If you think you can make the cut, get your axe ready. And your guitar too.
And when we're not watching the Flavor of Love, eating Cheez Whiz on saltines and drinking cheap beer on my White Trash Special Couch (the end of which collapsed, y'all, making sleeping more interesting than ever!) you can audition for me!
Peace,
The White Trash Cheesemeister
Hmmm...maybe I should have tried for The Flavor of Love. The message here is that you don't have to love somebody to take advantage of their money! Besides, Flav would actually make a pretty cool friend. And he might buy me a new couch!

A Patch of Blue

Starring: Elizabeth Hartman, Sidney Poitier, Shelley Winters
Man, what a beautiful film! This one came out the year I was born. And although the presentation of the subject matter is somewhat dated, unfortunately we haven't come as far as we ought in 40 years, Baby!
Elizabeth Hartman plays Selina D'Arcy, a young blind woman, who happens to be white. Shelley Winters is her sleazy, controlling mother. Sidney Poitier is Gordon Raife, a sympathetic man who happens to be black. He befriends Hartman's character when she is sitting in the park making necklaces from colored beads to sell and her tray turns over. He sees her worth and wants to help her expand their horizons. And they start to fall in love. It's a beautiful story and makes me cry.
And the "crying shame" of the whole matter is that race is a point of contention. It doesn't matter to the two characters, although the more worldly Gordon realizes that it is a problem to others in society, including Selina's mother Roseanne (Winters) and his brother Mark (Ivan Dixon.) Roseanne refers to Gordon as a "nigger" and "black buck" while Mark, a doctor, questions Gordon's blackness for his sympathy and affections towards a girl who is "white trash."
While interracial relationships aren't met with the violent opposition today that they were met with 40 years ago, the same basic prejudiced attitudes, sadly, haven't changed much.
The bitter, cynical wretch in me whose belief that love conquers all died when it was drowned in a vat of acid many years ago and comes back from the grave for the sole purpose of taunting me says that once Selina got on the bus to go to the school for the blind that Gordon had arranged for her to attend, the two of them grew apart and Gordon found a nice professional black woman to marry while Selina became a spinster teacher, gaining fulfillment doing good for others but never finding love. Not exactly a death sentence, but pretty cut, dry and sickeningy realistic. Be still, my mummified heart.
The Hopeless Idiot Moron Who Got A Railroad Spike Driven Through Her Frontal Lobe and That's Why She's So Stupid in me contends that while Selina was attending school, Gordon visited her every weekend, bringing her flowers and taking her to romantic dinners and because her confidence grew, her beauty shone through more and more, and that while she was attending college for her degree in education, they got married and lived happily ever after.
Ahhh...
Even my mummified heart feels warm and squishy at that idea!
I would like to hope that everybody finds love.
Except me.
Because if it tries to come in my house I'm gonna kill the bastard with my death ray!
Needless to say, Cupid and I are not on speaking terms.
But because hope and stupidity both spring eternal...
And this is a great film that is relevant even 40 years later...
I give it a five-star Celluloid Classic rating!
Peace,
The Cheesemeister

The Celluloid Realm

The latest and the splashiest with the Oscar Winners? Likely not, unless that's what I happen to like at the moment. Often old stuff. Strange stuff. B Movies. Whatever I want. Just like all my other blogs, because I'm just a selfish pig!
Fear not--it will be fun. And, of course, cheesy!
The Celluloid Cheesemeister
Now Relentlessly Invading The World of Film