The Flavor of Love

I made my first post regarding this surreality show starring the one and only Flavor Flav on the Sphere of Music Blog. But since what Flav is doing on this show isn't even close to harmonious or melodic, I'm putting my Updated Commentary in the Celluloid Realm.
In basic, I loathe reality shows. Survivor is Stupid. American Idol is Puerile. Fear Factor is just plain Vile. The Bachelor and its clones are Lame.
The reality shows that I'm drawn to like a magnet, in spite of myself?
The ones that are a real train wreck!
The Surreal Life and most spinoffs thereof.
Yes, I actually watched My Fair Brady a couple of times but got sick of Chris and Adrienne whining. I don't know if they're still together. I really don't give a rat's ass.
Flavor Flav, one of my favorite people in the world, is a self-contained train wreck.
Put him together with Brigitte Nielson and you had a train wreck of epic proportions!
Now those two really should be together.
They're both drama divas.
They both have the same twisted view on "love."
In my view, love does NOT mean that you can keep seeing other people. But one of Flav's stipulations is that he needs a woman who can tolerate him being around other women. Which pretty much puts clingy "New York" out of the picture. And while New York comes off as a world-class bitch, I sympathize with her feelings that she would be very attached to him and would be jealous of him being with other women. Hell, anything else is unnatural!
I would have to say, Flav, my man, go ahead and be with other women all you want. But if that's what you want, then you ain't gettin' none of this!
Gawd...
My son says that Flav is a "Gomer" for doing this reality show. I assume this is insulting. But I'm an olde phart, so you never know! I am, however, pretty sure that it's not either of these things described in the online dictionary:
n. A Hebrew measure. See Homer.
n. A conical chamber at the breech of the bore in heavy ordnance, especially in mortars; named after the inventor.
Believe it or not, Chuck D actually thinks the show is pretty funny and isn't hiding his head in a bag as might be expected with his partner acting like such a dang fool. Check out Chuck's Terrordome column. Ya know, I think that every now and then Chuck succumbs to the guilty pleasure of watching Trash TV, especially when it involves Flav.
To be honest, I can't say I'm dissapointed seeing Flav do a show like this. If it were Chuck or Griff, my head would explode before I could ever get dismayed.
One thing for sure--Flav always reminds me that you've gotta have a sense of humor or this damn world will kill you for sure!
I am now looking for men to star on my new unreality show, The Cheese of Desire.
I will start with 25 dudes.
After the first show, 20 dudes will get a round, wedge or brick of cheese. The five that don't get the cheese don't make the cut.
The next show, I will leave five more guys cheeseless.
And so on.
At the end, the guy who is truly the cheesiest wins--or loses--depending upon your perspective!
I will also be starting a show to audition for my band, Death Cheese.
If you think you can make the cut, get your axe ready. And your guitar too.
And when we're not watching the Flavor of Love, eating Cheez Whiz on saltines and drinking cheap beer on my White Trash Special Couch (the end of which collapsed, y'all, making sleeping more interesting than ever!) you can audition for me!
Peace,
The White Trash Cheesemeister
Hmmm...maybe I should have tried for The Flavor of Love. The message here is that you don't have to love somebody to take advantage of their money! Besides, Flav would actually make a pretty cool friend. And he might buy me a new couch!